THE STRUGGLE

It has become hard to position oneself to THE LEVEL.

Not for lack of motivation alone, but for eventual loss of foresight.

Flashback 10 years ago when the self was ideal, nurturing and dreaming. But after numerous setbacks, one has to cope to survive and the dreams seem harder and harder to reach. Like stars.

Reactive, and not proactive.

One cannot motivate itself without yearning for something. I still yearn for something. But i lost that tremendous wanting of achieving what i yearned for.

You dream all the time of the pay-off. The moment where you will execute big time.

But i falter.

Yet i still hope of making it. Thus, THE STRUGGLE.

When wanting it never means victory, but to shower yourself with enough courage to give a fraction of what is due you.

You want it. Yet you're powerless. Yet you still try. I just don't know when it can be done with ease. Maybe never. But you have to go through it. You have to go through it..